Alison Sarah Pym - Thérapeute Relationnelle

Do I love them?

“When in doubt, there is no doubt”. Who has never heard this sentence? In a couple, if you ask yourself if you love them, it’s because you don’t, and when single, if you ask yourself, it’s because you do? The other way round?

Well, no.

Have you ever asked yourself “why am I single?” or “how can I find the perfect man?”. This article is for you.

Love, whether it’s friendly, romantic, familial, is a very complicated and fluctuating subject.

You don’t love your parents the same way you love your friends, or your pets, do you?

Let’s take some examples.

  • With family members: have you ever lost and then regained contact with someone? It doesn’t matter how serious the reason is. Have you ever wondered if you loved them?
  • Among your friends, have there ever been any cold spots? Big disagreements?

“Yes, but it’s not the same…” I agree. What I’m getting at is that if you don’t ask yourself the question for those around you, what makes you do it for your partner? In fact, why don’t you also do it for those around you in this case? (a topic for a future article).

It’s fine to ask yourself where you are emotionally, as long as it’s not too often or too intrusive. The answer is not as simple as “when in doubt, there is no doubt”. Instead, ask yourself why do you doubt? Where are you in your relationship? It may be too early (there is no precise moment, everyone has their own rhythm).
Has something serious happened that could change something? Are you happy? Do you feel fulfilled? I hope that everything goes well and that the answers are positive. However, I know that it is still not that simple. You have the right to have doubts about your love. This is actually very healthy.

The real question is “do I want to continue with this person?

If the answer is “no”, the next step is logical, but difficult. If the answer is “yes”, find ways to feel safe, ways to spice things up, to see if the person is on the same page.

If the answer is “I don’t know”, take some time and find out what you want in the short to medium term and long term and whether this person fits into that vision.

Instead of running away from these issues you need to face them, with patience, love and kindness. Don’t force yourself to stay in a situation that makes you sad. But don’t miss out on a beautiful story either.

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