Alison Sarah Pym - Thérapeute Relationnelle

Why people cheat ? Can I cheat?

Being cheated on is probably one of the worst feelings in the world, whatever that means to you, trust has been broken.
The sad truth is that even the most unlikely people are capable of cheating, even “the perfect man”

The question isn’t, why do people cheat, or even who can cheat? Rather : when?

People cheat when…

1) There is a relationship rough patch

Rough patches in relationships are completely normal, and frequent. Have you ever been in an argument with your parents, or found them annoying? Have you ever been angry with your best friend but gotten over it? Probably yes to both. But with your partner it seems to be different. That’s because your feelings towards them are so completely unique and vice versa.
The reason cheating can happen in these times is because the uniqueness of said feelings seem to be a distant memory, and the person cheating is desperately trying to find them again, anywhere…
Agreed that isn’t the best solution.

If you feel some distance creeping its way into your relationship, address sooner rather than later. Set up some activities, or even seek help… Counselling does work.

2) Love languages aren’t being spoken

Traditionally there are 5 love languages (see my related article). Everything can look and seem hunky dory with a lot of love communication going around. But if you starve your partner of their specific need, they will end up going to look for it elsewhere.

In a relationship there are a lot of things that a person can compromise on. But not this. It’s your job to figure out what language they speak and vice versa.

Small caveat : you can also let your partner know what’s important to you, and ask them directly what they value most, this can save a lot of heartache.
Communication is ALWAYS key.

3) Insecurity

This is probably the biggest relationship killer… Everything can be going swimmingly, yet one person has huge insecurity. In this case, validation from the other is not enough (kind of like your mother telling you that you look good), for some (upsetting) reason, outside validation is worth more… Not much can be done in these situations, especially if you are the one being cheated on.

These situations are rare but still happen, and it’s difficult to find solace, it takes a lot of communication and self reflection.

All of this being said. Keep in mind that if you are the one being cheated on : IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. Furthermore, if you are the one doing the cheating : YOU ARE NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON (probably). Relationships are tough, and take a lot of work, but trust me, it’s worth it.

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